Even in the Silence

Yesterday, after posting the Praise Power message, I opened the novel I’m reading (Yes, I’m one of those confused, neurotic people who have at least five books on the go at once.), and found the following passage. It seemed to fit so well with yesterday’s post, I thought I’d quote it for you.

While We’re Far Apart, by Lynn Austin, is set in WWII, so it made good reading over the Remembrance Day holiday. I recommend it for the picture it gives of life in the U.S. during WWII, for both Jews and Gentiles, and also for its honest examination of the age-old question, “Why Did God Let This Happen?”

From Chapter 23, pp204-206:

“Do you think it does any good to pray, Mr. Mendel?”

The truth was that he was still too angry with Hashem to pray. But just as his newspaper photos had fueled Esther’s fear, he saw that his lack of faith would have an influence on her, too. It would be very wrong to lead these children into the dark, hopeless world where he lived. Should he tell them not to come anymore? No, Jacob had grown very fond of them. They were the only bright spot in his life right now. He groped for a reply.

“Sometimes, Esther, it is wrong to judge the effectiveness of prayer by looking at the immediate results. Do you know the story of Joseph from the Bible?”

She looked thoughtful for a moment, “You mean the boy with the coat of many colors?“

“Yes. Exactly so. In the story, everything looked very bad for Joseph—sold as a slave by his own brothers, living far from home. He was even locked in prison for a while, falsely accused of a crime he did not commit. His father feared he was dead.” Jacob had to pause as grief strangled him. He closed his eyes, thinking of his son and the cart full of Jewish corpses, thinking of the detectives who had come to his apartment making false accusations. The police wanted to put Jacob into prison, too, for a crime he did not commit.

“All that time,” he said when he could speak, “all that time Joseph prayed, and it must have seemed like Hashem wasn’t listening.”

“Is that God’s name, Hashem?”

“No, Hashem means ‘The Name.’ One of the Ten Commandments says it is wrong to take His name in vain. We believe that His name is so holy that we must never speak it. Instead, we say Hashem—The Name.”

“So, Joseph prayed to Hashem?” Esther asked.

“Yes, I am sure that he prayed something like, ‘Get me out of this prison! Get me back home to my family!’ Hashem may not have answered Joseph’s prayers the way that Joseph wanted Him to, but it turned out that Hashem had a very good reason for keeping him in Egypt. Of course, Joseph could not see how it was good until many years had passed. But Hashem was at work all that time, raising Joseph up to become a leader in Egypt. And when famine came to the land of Israel, Joseph’s family came to him there and were rescued.”

Peter wrote something on his piece of paper and pushed it across the table for Jacob to read: Mama used to tell us that story. Jacob thought of Rachel Shaffer and his own Miriam Shoshanna, and several moments passed before he could speak.

“Hashem may not answer our prayers the way we want Him to,” he said, clearing his throat. “He did not deliver Joseph from prison right away. But Hashem was there with Joseph, even in the silence.”

“Is that true, Mr. Mendel? Does God—Hashem—really hear our prayers?”

Esther and Peter were looking to him for answers. And for hope. He felt none. Why had he ever opened his door to them? Should he lie?

“’The righteous shall live by faith,’” Jacob finally said, remembering the rebbe’s words. “Faith is believing, even when you cannot see it. Like Joseph did. He never stopped believing in Hashem. And in time, his prayers were answered in ways he never could have foreseen.”

Do you see how this fits with the Praise Power idea? Or is it just me?

Praise Power

I've been re-reading an old book called Prison to Praise, by Chaplain Merlin Carothers. He is reminding me of a great truth I need to hear repeated again and again. He says:

Jesus didn't promise to change the circumstances around us, but He did promise great peace and pure joy to those who would learn to believe that God actually controls all things.

The very act of praise releases the power of God into a set of circumstances and enables God to change them if this is His design. Very often it is our attitudes that hinder the solution of a problem. God is sovereign and could certainly cut across our wrong thought patterns and attitudes. But His perfect plan is to bring each of us into fellowship and communion with Him, and so He allows circumstances and incidents which will bring our wrong attitudes to our attention.

I have come to believe that the prayer of praise is the highest form of communion with God, and one that always releases a great deal of power into our lives. Praising Him is not something we do because we feel good; rather it is an act of obedience. Often the prayer of praise is done in sheer teeth-gritting willpower; yet when we persist in it, somehow the power of God is released into us and into the situation, first in a trickle perhaps, but later in [a] growing stream that finally floods us and washes away the old hurts and scars.

Philippians 4:6 says: Be careful for nothing; but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God.

Ephesians 5:19-20 says: Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 says: Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit.

Do I really believe these truths?

How often do I quench the Spirit by my lack of vision and lack of faith?

My Approval Ratings

I’m in an introspective mood. Maybe it’s the influence of what I’m reading. John Eldredge’s book, Walking With God, journals his experience of listening to God and walking with Him on a daily basis for one year.

I can only take so much of this kind of navel gazing before I get bored, or uneasy. If I were John Eldredge I’d be wondering why that’s true. He’d probably say I’m afraid to look under the hood (see page 60, “Being Willing to Have a Look”), so, before I give up on this approach, I probably need to look at a few things.

The thing I notice right now is that I am constantly trying to impress myself. Or impress others with myself. Wanting them to know how witty I am, or how inteligent, or good, or clever, or right, or even how beautiful. If there’s a group picture, I look for myself first. I want to know how good I look. I’m usually disappointed. I keep expecting that someone as special as I am should look more beautiful than I do.

There’s something wrong with living this way. It’s not how Jesus lived.

Jesus never tried to impress anyone. Why? Because He knew who He was. He had this quiet, sure confidence about His identity from the beginning. You see it when he was 12 years old, in the forthright and matter-of-fact way He asked and answered the questions of the religious rulers in the temple. You see it, especially, in the way he responded to His “parents” when they asked where He had been. “Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" (Luke 2:49)

Jesus was God’s son, and as such he had His Father's approval. He needed no other affirmation than that.

Because of Jesus, I am God’s child too. That’s my identity. That’s the reality of who I am. I am accepted in the Beloved. When I live in this reality, the affirmation of others, or even of myself, is not necessary.

There is no room for pride in that vision, or insecurity, or guilt. It’s just the way it is. Everything I am and have comes from Him and belongs to Him, and that’s enough.

I want to live in that reality.

A Pastor Who Scolds

Last week my Pastor scolded me.

I had sent him one of those funny e-mail jokes. Where on earth I came up with the brilliant idea that the other deacons in my church and the pastors would enjoy an internet joke that involved Jesus, I’ll never know. My pastor gets so much electronic mail he hates messages anyway. I knew that. It was just one of those sloppy, brain-dead moments when you snatch a glance at something someone’s spammed you with and immediately, without sober second thought, spam it forward, to a group list, no less, of the most spiritually sensitive people in your church.

In all fairness, my pastor didn’t know he’d scolded me. I had to tell him about it later, after the scolding had done its redemptive readjustment of my internet priorities. He was surprised, and pleased, to find out God had used him to discipline me, but he had no idea his question, “Why on earth do you read this stuff?!” would sound like a reprimand.

He was probably just curious, but it sounded like a rhetorical question to me. You know, like the ones Jesus used to ask his disciples: “How long must I put up with you?” That kind of thing. But it’s hard to interpret e-mails because you don’t get the body language. Anyway, the e-mail had obviously caught him at a bad time. He’d probably just come out of an hour-long meeting with Jesus where they’d been discussing matters involving the Kingdom of God, or something equally significant. Naturally, in that case, he could have missed the humor in the joke.

I replied to his reprimand, asking him if the joke was sacrilegious or something. He said, “No, just profoundly ignorant.” That didn’t sound much better than sacrilege to me. I thought about pointing out to him that “profoundly ignorant” was an oxymoron, but decided I’d better not push my luck, especially since I’d not seemed to have much of it so far anyway in this conversation.

But the end result of the whole thing was amazing. For weeks before this I’d been in a spiritual slump. I had no appetite for reading the Bible. I had no faith in prayer, and even the little arrow prayers and praises that used to add salt and pepper to my spiritual life were missing.

My pastor’s response to the spam changed all that. I have no idea why. Maybe because it shed a new, strong light on the influence the internet has in my life. I realized that spam in and spam out had become a regular, unconscious part of my psyche. I began to be aware, not only of what I read every day, but what I, in turn, clutter my friends’ mailboxes with.

So the reprimand has changed me. I’ve decided there are enough frivolous words floating around out there in cyberspace, and I’m determined not to contribute any more to the flotsam and jetsam. I’m using the delete key more often, and sooner—before I read, instead of after—and I’ve slowed down my reaction time before hitting the “forward to” key.

And, glory be!, my taste for the Word of God has revived. I find myself eagerly going to quiet times every morning and every night. The prayers and praises have returned, as well as beautiful calls to intercession resulting in some powerful, eternity-changing conversations with Jesus.

I love it that my pastor isn’t afraid to chide me. We need that kind of pastor. October is pastor appreciation month, and before the month went by, I wanted to say that I thank God for my pastor. He’s a gem, and his sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, in this case, has rekindled my spiritual life. It has cleared the junk off the sofa in my heart so there’s room, again, for Jesus to come in and sit down.

Thank you, God, for pastors who aren’t afraid to lecture us.

Control

I don't want the kind of peace that comes from feeling like I have everything under control. I want the peace that comes from knowing God is sovereign, even though I'm not in control.

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Philippians 4:6-8 (The Message)

Losing Heart

I struggle, today, with the disappointment of unanswered prayer. Why does it seem, so often, as if my prayers make no difference? Does prayer really change things, as the plaque on the wall in my bedroom states?

I know the answer to that question with my mind. God often says “wait” when we ask for something, and His timing is perfect. And when He says “no,” it's always so He can give us something better instead. But in the moment it's heart-breaking to feel the door shut in my face.

So what do I do in the midst of my disappointment?

Do I give up on God and decide my walk with Him is all a waste of time? I can't do that. There's too much richness in that walk—too much truth and grace. I can't deny His faithfulness in the past.

Do I wallow in self-pity and self-doubt, wondering if I've done something that keeps God from answering my prayers? It's not a bad idea to ask God to examine my attitude and my motivations, but if nothing comes to mind, I can't stay in that place. It's depressing and counterproductive.

Do I quit asking God for things, or at least quit expecting He will answer if I do? I could just say “Thy will be done,” and leave it at that—no specifics. That way I will avoid the hurt of disappointment. But then why pray at all? Why ask God for something He will do anyway? Where is the intimacy of communion, or even the delight of communication in that kind of prayer?

No, I have to avoid all those solutions. They're not solutions. They're coping mechanisms, and coping mechanisms don't belong in healthy relationships. I want a healthy relationship with my God.

So I go to the Word.

I read about people like Joseph, who spent years in prison for something he didn't do, only to be released at the right time to fulfill God's purposes of salvation, for Egypt, and Israel, and ultimately the whole world. People like Moses, who labored for years in the wilderness tending his father-in-law's sheep before God sent him to deliver the children of Israel from bondage in Egypt. Daniel, the captured slave of a pagan king, who remained faithful to God and so influenced the history of the world during two great secular empires.

I hear Job say, Though he slay me, yet will I trust him, and Habakkuk declare, Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

I read Paul's words in 2 Corinthians: We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed.

Why was Paul not defeated by his disappointments? Because we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Cor 4:18.

My vision is so incomplete. I cannot afford to lose heart just because I can't see far enough ahead. I will not harden my heart. I will keep pressing into His side. I will keep presenting my requests to Him and allowing the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7. I will not lose my heart.

Surrender

Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20

"Our Lord makes a disciple His own possession, He becomes responsible for him. 'Ye shall be witnesses unto Me.' The spirit that comes in is not that of doing anything for Jesus, but of being a perfect delight to Him. The secret of the missionary is--I am His, and He is carrying out His enterprises through me. Be entirely His." Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, September 4 reading.

God calls for complete surrender of our lives to Him.

Some things we lay on the altar He will burn up, because they aren't good for us and never will be.

Other things He will purify, and sanctify, and give back to us. But we have to let go of everything.

God is good and He is sovereign. We have to trust Him, and we can trust Him.