A Conversation Piece

This evening I found an old article written by Dave and Linda Olson called, "Hearing God."  

The byline said, "We may imagine that He only speaks about deep, intense matters, or commands.  However, God's preferred way is conversation."

What a sweet thought.  My heart was lonely.  I reached out and said, "I'd love to have a conversation with you, God."

He said, "We did have a conversation today.  It was when you were reading your Bible this morning."

This morning I'd been reading the story of Nehemiah, thinking how much he is a model for how we believers should be living and working faithfully in the secular society of our Western world.  Thinking about how badly our spiritual walls need to be rebuilt, and how difficult it is. 

Then I thought, "But the walls were rebuilt, against impossible odds and overwhelming opposition."

That was a great thought, and I thought it was my thought. 

I'd been reading with my mind on the words in front of me, not even thinking Someone else might be in the room, talking to me. 

It had been a conversation and I'd missed it.

Trust and Despair

This morning I talked to God about the state of our union, his and mine.  My faith in him is constant, but my feelings are so erratic.  Often, these days, I suffer from vague feelings of guilt, confusion and despair, even though I know, deep in my soul, that all is well with Him. 

Why is that?

I'm not sure.  But I'm holding on to the verses I feel he's drawn my attention to during this strange time of ambivalence. 

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him (as Lord!) and he will direct your paths.

So after I talked to God, he spoke to me, in two very specific ways: 

My morning's reading in the Daily Light was about Jesus suffering in the garden.  He trusted his Father completely, yet, in the garden, as he was awaiting the arrival of the soldiers who would take him to his death, he told his disciples, "My soul is deeply grieved." 

He cried out for mercy from God.  "If it be possible, let this cup pass from me." 

God didn't grant his request.  He sent an angel to strengthen the Son he loved more than life, and then he let the soldiers come.

I left my quiet time and came to the computer, where I found this blog from Open Doors, an organization that ministers to people who suffer persecution for their faith in Christ.  This is a quote from a Chinese man who was imprisoned for his faith.  It helped shed some light on the predicament--this strange dichotomy between trust and despair.

He says:

    When we suffer for Christ, what actually happens? I mean, what really goes on spiritually within us when we are going through suffering? 

     I ask the question because a young sister was listening to me recently recount my experience of being in jail for three weeks last year. She said, “You talked of having constant diarrhea, of being kicked and punched painfully, and you even feared that God was punishing you…yet you talked also of feeling joy and experiencing peace.” She said to me, “I don’t understand how these things go together.” 

     My reply to her, and I give it also as an instruction to you all (for you will all suffer at some point for His Name), is that when we suffer, three spiritual experiences happen to us all at once: angelic strengthening, superhuman forgiveness, and human incomprehension. These three things appear contradictory, but if you suffer, you will find they come together as they did in the life of Christ. 

    An old Christian used to say to me, “When they lead you away to jail, tell yourself you are merely going with Christ to the Garden of Gethsemane, and to the Cross.” To the Garden, and to the Cross. I liked that. I tested it. It’s true…

"Angelic strengthening, superhuman forgiveness, and human incomprehension."  I'm not suffering as this dear brother suffered, but his description of the feelings he experienced help me understand that joy and human incomprehension can co-exist.

My feelings will still come and go, but I'm honing in on the key purpose--our purpose in our walk with him.  It's just to trust.  To grow in our trust.  He doesn't ask us to understand.  He doesn't ask us to know the right path to take.  All we have to do is trust and he will arrange the rest.

A Puff of Wind

I'm feeling singularly uninspired.  Have felt that way for a while.  Not sure why, or what is happening.  We've recently moved to a new neighborhood, and I feel the move signifies a new direction for ministry, but every time I ask God where he wants me to go on this next leg of my journey, all I hear is:

"Rest."  

That's all.  God can never be accused of being wordy.

I don't like to rest.  It seems like such a waste of time.  I want to DO, and GO.  But after several weeks of asking for something to do, and getting the same one-word answer every time, I'm finally beginning to listen.

My life is still in the doldrums.  No wind in the sails.  But I'm no longer restless in that calm place.  I can't say I'm feeling particularly joyful, but I'm content to wait and trust.

This morning I was again wondering where my path was leading, and when I'd be allowed to step out onto the road again.  Feeling the spiritual equivalent of the Monday morning "blah's."  I came down to my office and found this blog post on Facebook. I'm sharing it with you in place of whatever inspirational words I might have come up with if I weren't sitting in this puddle of muddy spiritual water at the moment!

These words helped breathe life into my spirit, and a puff--just a puff--of wind in my sails.  I hope they do the same for you.

How to Breathe Again.  

Jennifer's response to one of the comments on her post was especially encouraging.  She says:

We need to remind each other that our salvation does not depend on how we feel. This side of heaven, we are going to have those soul-dry moments, periods in the wilderness, moments that wring us out. And the enemy -- opportunist that he is -- is going to pounce all over you to make you think that your soul-cracked feeling is evidence that God is done with you. But God shouts louder, straight down through the universe, through the lens of Calvary: I am not done with you. I made you. You are mine. Sealed, signed, and delivered by My Son.

I found Jennifer through another Facebook friend, Lori Roeleveld.  I've "liked" both of their Facebook pages.  You might like them too.

Listening to God

Do you ever wonder how to hear from God?  

What kinds of things He might be wanting to say to you?  

Or if what you think you're "hearing" is actually Him?

I just read, in my quiet time this morning, several chapters in Charles Stanley's book, How to Listen to God.  I highly recommend it for any Christian who longs for intimacy with God.  It's full of practical, godly advice from a humble, saintly man who is greatly experienced in hearing from God.

Pick any one of these chapters.  Read, and you'll be blessed:

ONE:  Is God Still Talking?

TWO:  God's Goal in Communicating

THREE:  How God Gets Our Attention

FOUR:  Identifying the Voice of God

FIVE:  Factors That Determine How God Communicates

SIX:  Are You Listening?

SEVEN:  Sitting Before the Lord

EIGHT:  Your Spiritual Mind-Set

NINE:  Hindrances to Hearing

TEN:  Listening and Obeying

ELEVEN:  The Life That Listens--A Well-Built Life

Or hear Charles Stanley speak on the subject in an engaging 7-minute Youtube video where he talks about teaching his children how to listen to God.

  

Where and How do you picture God when you pray? 

Charles Stanley says that when we pray, "we come before a Father who wraps His arms around us in a loving embrace."  (How to Listen to God, p. 69)

That's where He is, and what He's doing, right now, in relation to you.  

This is what He is saying to you today.