Listening: An Essential Ingredient in One-on-One Evangelism

We sat by the fire in the lodge, the place where members of the university community often gathered to socialize, and talked of spiritual things.  My heart was full of God's love for this man, my friend and a colleague of my husband's at the research station where we lived and worked. 

He was speaking (it was his turn).  I was letting him talk, making eye contact, nodding occasionally to encourage him, waiting for my chance to reply.  He was a follower of Zen, and eager to share what he believed with me.  At the moment, he was saying something about the Oneness of the Universe.  

I was just as eager to share about Jesus, but I waited, praying, thinking about what I could say next.  Something that might reach into his spirit and open his eyes to the Truth of the Gospel.

Then a third party joined the conversation.  The Still, Small Voice said to me, "Are you listening to him?"

"Well, yes, Lord.  I'm listening and waiting for a chance to speak about You."

"No," He said.  "Are you LISTENING to him?" (emphasis His)

That moment--that question--changed the way I "do" evangelism forever.

What a concept!  We should LISTEN to people we care about for Jesus' sake. 

When I began to listen to my friend, three things happened.

1)  I realized, with deep shame, that I was treating him with respect for the first time in our history of conversing about God.  Why had it taken so long?  It's rude not to listen.  We Christians should be the last people on earth to be rude to others.

2)  I learned some interesting new things.  I learned about Zen Buddhism, how Buddhists think, what they believe.  My mind opened up.  My world became more colorful.  I became more informed and aware.  Enlightened, even!

3)  I began to see bridges between what my friend believed and what I believe.

ü  Christians believe in the Oneness of the universe too.  We just believe the "One" in Oneness is a Person, and that "oneness" happens when we choose to submit our spirits to His. 

ü  We believe human beings should behave ethically too.  We just believe they can only truly do that in the strength of the One we submit to. 

ü  We meditate as well.  But we don't empty our minds.  We fill them with Truth about the One.  

Our conversations continued after that day.  In the end, neither of us convinced the other that our way was the Truth.  But the results of sharing Christ with others are not our responsibility, and the end has not come yet.  God will work, in His way and in His time. 

I still have a hard time remembering to listen.  Talking is so much easier.  But listening is so much more rewarding, in every way.  Listening is loving, resting, learning, growing.  And in face-to-face, one-on-one situations, listening is essential to sharing the Gospel effectively.

Agree or disagree?  Please share your opinion in a comment.

This article was originally posted in the FECB blog on in March, 2013.

 http://blog.febc.org/

Ginny's Quick Picks for Friday, March 22

I follow a blog called Conversion Diary, the musings of an atheist-turned-Catholic-mother-of-six-with-a-great-sense-of-humor. Every Friday she does a post of seven "Quick Picks," somewhat random thoughts she's collected through the week.

I'm going to experimentally borrow her idea here today.  The aim is to give you at least one link, or quick idea, that adds to the richness of your life in some way or another. Let me know if you like this kind of thing or not, okay?

Here are 7 links to thoughts that have stretched me, comforted me, or made me laugh this week. This post provides my comments and/or an excerpt from the links.  For full benefit, click on the highlighted hyperlink and go directly to the article.

1)  Some Clear Thinking On an Emotionally Charged Issue:  

From the Blog, Living on Tilt, posted by Katherine Harms in Religion and Politics: "To Dissent Is Not the Same as to Hate."  

Christ taught us to love our enemies and pray for those who abuse us. This means that even though we are called hate-mongers or accused of venomous speech, Christ expects us to respond with love. We can and must dispute with the people who assault what is right, but we must not engage in name-calling and vicious sound bites. When one United States Senator feels comfortable calling another United States Senator a “wacko bird” it feels as if the underpinnings of civil society are wobbling. Those of us who claim the name of Christ must depend on Christ to give us words for the conversation that express our message without demeaning our opponents. 

2)  Interesting in the News:

From the Israeli news source, Arutz Sheva, the article, "Temple Groups Practice Passover Sacrifice," by Maayana Miskin.

This news item interested me because my speculative novel, Zinovy's Journey, mentions a time in the future when blood sacrifices will once again be performed on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.  In my story, that time doesn't last long. It's quickly outlawed by the world government in power at the time.  But the incident gives Zinovy a chance to struggle with his personal phobia about the shedding of blood, as well as the hideous concept of a God who would require blood sacrifice from his people. 

3)  A Unique Take on Spirituality and Religion:

From Time Magazine, Ideas column, the article, "The Problem With Being Spiritual But Not Religious," by Rabbi David Wolpe.

No one expects those without faith to obligate themselves to a religious community. But for one who has an intuition of something greater than ourselves to hold that this is a purely personal truth, that it demands no communal searching and struggle, no organization to realize its potential in this world, straddles the line between narcissistic and solipsistic. If the spirit moves you to goodness, that is wonderful. For too many, though, spirituality is a VIP card allowing them to breeze past all those wretched souls waiting in line or doing the work. Join in; together is harder, but together is better.

4)  On Personal/Spiritual Growth:

From Along The Banks, by Camille Eide, "Irony of God #47: Surrender Brings Freedom"

Camille is an author I met at a writer's conference one year.  She's a delightful friend and writer, who makes me laugh and cry when I read what she writes.  In this article she says:  With each surrender, I find myself a little freer in my soul, a little less chained to my willful flesh, a little closer to Jesus, a little more like him.

5) Intriguing Quote of the Week: 

I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

After that I liked jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.

I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened.

Donald Miller, from Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality

6)  Today's paraprosdokian* (not in any way to be taken seriously):

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

*from the Greek meaning 'beyond expectation.' A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part.

7)  And last, but not least. . .  

From a Facebook page called "So funny ha ha pictures," who (hopefully) has the right to display this Bizarro Comic.  

Not too sure why this is funny, but maybe some of you will get it.  ;-)

Disclaimer:  I did not "Like" this Facebook page because I'm not sure I would "like" every cartoon posted on it!

Five Common Myths About Sharing the Gospel

This article was originally posted in the FECB blog on January 22, 2013

We mean well.  We really want our friends to know Jesus.  But too often we approach them with wrong ideas in our heads.  If we really want to be effective witnesses, we should be aware of five common myths about evangelism.

Myth #1: There are two kinds of people:  them and us.  It's a mistake to see everyone as being on one side of the fence or the other.  That's not the appropriate metaphor.  There's no fence.  There's a road, and we're all walking on it.  For sure, there's a point in every person's journey when they choose to follow Jesus. But it's only a step along the path.  The road continues.  None of us has arrived until we get to heaven, and we're all learning as we go.  The people we want to share Jesus with are just fellow travelers.  Realizing this opens up a whole new way of seeing others, and it will change the way we reach out to them.

Myth #2: We need to "fix" people's mistaken ideas about God.   We don't need to fix anything. Every person's journey takes time, and the road often meanders.  People travel toward the Truth along various byways, and some of them begin far away.  But if a person is truly seeking God, whatever path they are on will eventually lead to Jesus.  God is not worried. He has plans to set things right eventually.  Sometimes we need to relax, and simply walk beside them, being a sounding board for their misconceptions.

Myth #3: The Bible is outdated.  I know.  We don't really believe this.  But there's a part of us that's been conditioned to think it is.  We're afraid to use Scripture because we think people won't understand, or that they'll be offended.  But there is power in quoting the Bible.  Its words have won souls for over 2000 years. Yes, we need to use language carefully, thinking about how their minds and hearts will receive them, but we should not avoid the use of biblical stories or language. God knew what He was doing when He spoke about sin and judgment, and His metaphors are universal ones.  They will communicate in every cultural milieu, in every society, in every age.

Myth #4: We need to make it easy for people to come to Christ.  I honestly don't know where we get this idea.  Jesus made it difficult.  He didn't say to Nicodemus, "You need to change your theology slightly so you can enter the Kingdom of God."  He said, "You need to give up everything you have become and start over again."  That's not easy.  Jesus told the rich young ruler to sell all he had and give the money to the poor, knowing full well it was the hardest thing he could ask of the poor boy.  

Entering the Kingdom is hard.  Yes, there are blessings that more than compensate, but the path to those blessings is not easy.  The amazing thing is that people will rise to this challenge.  Jesus knew what He was doing.  We need to follow his example.

Myth #5: We have to be able to give people answers.  Answers are important at some point, for sure.  But Jesus did not evangelize by giving answers.  He did it by asking questions. "Who do you say that I am?"  "Which of them was neighbor?"  "Why do you call me good?"  When people ask, "How can there be evil if there's a good God?"  We can say, "How can there be good if there's not?" When people say God's judgment is too harsh, we can say, "What would you have a good God do about evil then?"  Questions are kindling thrown on the smoldering embers of belief.  Answers are good, and we can share them.  But we need to wait until the fire begins to burn well before we add the logs.

The good thing about dispelling these myths is that it makes our task a lot easier.  Salvation is God's job.  We don't have to do anything but make ourselves restfully available to Him, and be instantly obedient when He gives us something to do or say.  And sometimes we just need to get out of His way.

Resting in the Paradoxes

I've just finished reading Blink, by Ted Dekker.  It's fun, but I got headaches as often as his main character did, trying to juggle all the possible futures bouncing off the walls of his super smart brain. 

The spiritual theme of the book wraps itself around the mind-boggling concept that human beings have free will, and that, through prayer as well as through their active choices, they can change things, even though God is sovereign.

How can both things be true?  If we really have free choice, doesn't that rule out the possibility that God is sovereign?

This is the kind of dilemma we run up against whenever we try to figure out most everything about the nature and character of God. 

How can He be both totally God and totally man? 

How can He be three and yet only one? 

How can He be holy and allow evil in the world?

The struggle is like holding onto mercury.  Whenever we think we're getting close to solving the dichotomy, we discover we've lost part of the truth down a black hole. 

In fact, I would venture to guess that every heresy that has ever challenged the true biblical version of the Christian faith has resulted from an attempt to reconcile one or another of these paradoxes. 

But they cannot be reconciled in this life.  In the extra-dimensions we'll inhabit as immortal beings we may find they come together, but in the meantime, we need to be content to live with the puzzle pieces unconnected.

That means we quit trying to figure it out and live as if both are true.  We act as if our choices matter, about what we do and what we decide to pray for.  But we trust that God, in His sovereignty, can weave the strands of our imperfect choices into the tapestry of His perfect will.

In doing so we acknowledge, with awesome wonder, that we matter.  We are not puppets.  We can change the world.  This recognition will give great incentive to our actions and great power to our prayers.

At the same time, we are able to relax in the security of knowing that an all-powerful and all-loving God, like a mother eagle, swoops under us when we fall, carries us on his wings when we grow tired, and cheers for us when we learn to soar. 

We can rest in the paradoxes.

Ten Steps To Dealing With Doubts

I'm going through a crisis of faith.  It seems every time I pick up my Bible I find another frustrating question I can't answer.  It's uncomfortable, but I'm not worried.  I know doubts can be a steppingstone to a stronger faith.  I'm going to come out on the other side of this valley in a better place.  

But there are specific steps I need to take to do that.  If you're having the same kind of struggle, here are some suggestions from a kindred spirit:

Dealing With Doubts:

1.  Don't ignore or deny your doubts.  Turn around and face them head on.  Otherwise they will niggle away at your faith and keep you from the joy God wants you to experience in relationship with Him.  Be proactive, and be totally honest with yourself and with God.

2.  Investigate the reason for the doubts.  Is there a spirit of rebellion or pride behind your questioning?  Are you involved in a habitual sin that is pushing you away from God?  If so, confess those sins.  (I John 1:9)  You might find your doubts instantly dissolve when you do this.  If they don't, go on with the following steps.   

3.  Bring your crisis of faith to God in prayer.  Don't just whine about it to Him in passing as you go through your day.  Speak to Him deliberately, preferably on your knees. Lay all your dark thoughts out before Him and release them.  Ask Him to take them and bring good things out of this experience.  (If you have any reservations about doing this on your knees, go back to number 2, above, and dig deeper.)

4.  Recognize Satan's involvement in your doubts.  The Devil is the doubt-seed planter.  He did it first in the Garden of Eden, and he continues to do it today.  Doubts are not necessarily a bad thing.  God gave us minds and He expects us to question things.  But Satan would like to take that good thing and twist it.   When your doubts come, he sees a vulnerable place in your spirit and he will move in to distort God's truth.  Confront Him.  Tell him to get lost, in Jesus' name. Then deal with your doubts before God alone.

5.  Recognize the effect of the world's culture on your thinking.  Satan exerts enormous power and influence in our world today.  Everything in your humanistic environment is designed to push you away from faith in God.  Be on guard.  Face the fact that your world is going to constantly challenge your faith.  You're swimming upstream.  Be prepared to resist the current.

6.  Accept your limitations.  Recognize that many things in life, and in God's Word, will not have answers you can understand this side of heaven.  Accept that fact.  God is too great to be understood totally by minds that are housed in physical brains and restricted to a four-dimensional awareness.  It just won't happen.  Now we see through a glass darkly.  One day we will see face to face.  Anticipate that day!

7.  Focus on foundational Truths.  There are basic, undeniable realities.  It may be hard to accept that God is good when we focus on the evil in the world around us.  But there is no explanation for the good things in our world if there is no good God.  A mother's love.  A baby's smile.  A kind word.  A beautiful sunset.  These things have to come from somewhere.  There is a God and he is good.  When that one issue is settled, we have a secure foundation to stand on while we deal with other questions.

8.  Go to the Word.  Though this step is number 8 in this list, it is the most important one in the process.  God's Word is the antidote to doubt.  Questions may come as you read the Bible, but the solutions are there too. The Holy Spirit is beside you, wanting to lead you into truth.  Ask him to show you passages that you need to see. He may lead you to specific answers to your questions, or He may not.  But if He doesn't, He will lead you to a place of peace and trust in your good God.

9.  Remember your past.  If you have been walking with God for a long time, you have a rich history of His blessing in your life.  If you have just found Him, you have the fresh memory of how He revealed His love to you.  These experiences are roots that can go down deep into the soil of God's love and nurture your faith.  Let it happen.

10.  Anticipate the end result of your struggle.  It will end, and many good things will come out of the process.  Your relationship with God will be deepened through the experience; Your faith will be strengthened; and God will bring you into a place of richer ministry because of this crisis. You will be better prepared to encourage others in the faith.  The end is worth the struggle.

Where to go in the Word to deal with doubts:

The Psalms are a great place to run to when you're feeling besieged by anything, including doubts.  If your doubts are specifically about the Bible, meditate on Psalm 119.  There is something supernaturally reassuring about David's declaration of his faith in God's Word in this Psalm.

Old Testament stories.  The stories of people in the Old Testament who endured doubts and difficulties are encouraging.  Read about the lives of Abraham, Joseph, Daniel, and David.  Take heart from their experiences and the outcome of their difficulties.

Hebrews 11.  The lives of faithful saints are summarized in this chapter of Hebrews.  The writer admonishes us to remember those who have gone before us when we are discouraged.  They persisted in their belief in God through hard times and were rewarded in the end.

Above all, through it all, remember this admonition:

Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! 

Hebrews 12:2,3 in The Message